(Jessica) Back on track

I went away for spring break and ate off protocol. I didn’t have a specific plan mapped out, I just knew I could stick with protein, fat and veggies since we would be eating out a lot. Well, that is not what happened. I keep trying to find a better reason for why I keep eating off of protocol. I realized I am supposed to learn and move on so I am trying to evaluation the situation but I can’t find a good reason except “you are on vacation and things are not routine”. “You don’t have that much weight to loose so a little won’t hurt.” “You can get back on track.” So then I come home sure to be back on protocol and still eat off plan because I don’t have groceries in the house. I binged one day but just overate the next. I hear myself say “you better get all your eating in today because tomorrow you will be back on protocol. I can’t seem to get to the heart of why. I did great most of March with learning moments here and there but this last week was more than just here and there. I felt sick and bloated after eating poorly, definitely a physical consequence from eating off plan, which I found new and interesting. I would be more sympathetic if this was not a pattern for me so it is hard to be kind to myself. I am writing what I eat (I did not capture all of vacation but most days), still working towards 100 urges and learn and move on sheets. What am I missing??