Hi! I am taking an honest look at my emotions and protocol this week and I have a few questions. I spoke with a tutor yesterday and I am reviewing my data. I was going back to my old way of thinking and caught myself. I immediately wanted to blame my non weight loss on fasting and thought I should start eating breakfast. I was ready to run to the fridge and grab some eggs to solve my problem! This is funny because I reviewed my journal for after about three weeks data and everyday I either had a drink or fruit and whip cream or a treat. Then after a deeper look and comparing your protocol requirements, I realized I may be eating too much at my two meals. I will usually have salad for lunch. On that salad is veggies, 1/2 an avocado, one egg, some sort of meat (4oz), cheese, maybe some olives and ranch dressings. Last night for dinner I had a steak salad with one egg, no cheese and ranch dressing. So with that said should I just include 4 oz of protein on my salad and either avocado or dressing? Should I clean up my alcohol and grab ass of desserts first. Should I clean it all up at once. I was thinking only doing a drink plan for Friday and Saturday, one joy eat and starting to measure my proteins and fat?
On another front, my sleep and stress level are high right now. My mother is ill and we have just moved in with family while we are doing an addition. I have been doing models and working through all of this better than usual. When my mom is in a crisis (which is often with her health) I usually want to play the poor me card and go into victim mode. I was able to react to her with more compassion than usual and not loose my shit about my crazy life and drink and binge eat but wanted to cry on and off all day. Then I heard you in my head saying 50% of life you will have difficult emotion. This really sucks. One minute I am super thankful and blessed to be pushing thought this addition for my family. I work on models regarding the cost and stay open to enjoying the process. Then I have to do models for the craziness of caring for my mother and trying to manage that chaos. Then I want to work aggressively towards creating value in my nursing position. I want to do it all but wonder if it is too much? I did sit with an urge to eat the other day and it was fascinating. I am writing down my urges on my 100 urges sheet. However, I am writing down food urges and alcohol urges. Is that cheating? Thanks for listening!