For quite a while, my mantra has been “I hate my job. It’s not for me. I’m not the right fit. The other consultants are so much better than me.”
Every day I wake up dreading my job. I can’t get focused. I procrastinate to all hell. I miss deadlines. I don’t do things when I say I will. And then… I worry about what everyone must be thinking about me (colleagues and such). So then I think “I gotta get on top of my shit!” But when I try, I kind of basically give up because I’ve already proven myself time and time again to be “incompetent (my label), lazy, a procrastinator” and I can’t move beyond this. “This is who I am.”
So I go on hating my job, but what I’m finding through Scholar’s work is that I hate the way I FEEL (in regards to my job) because of my thoughts. I’d like to focus my big goal on “Not hating my job” but that is a little too vague. I want to get shit done regardless of the crazy self flagellating thoughts. I want to make deadlines. I want to to work with integrity. I want to trust myself, my knowledge and opinions in high profile meetings rather than deferring to my colleagues and trying to hide. I’m trying to figure out a MEASURABLE goal for this and was wondering if you could help me. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.