I’m going to move to another state to move in with my boyfriend. Currently, I’m making a good salary in the state where I live and moving will cost me, likely 30% in my salary. Remote work isn’t an option (I’ve investigated it and was told no). Plus, I don’t have all the relevant experience I would need to switch to a different line of work in my new city.

Currently, I’m feeling distressed as I think about leaving my current job and salary when I’m not finding a perfect fit in my target city. I don’t really want to be unemployed for months and months. My mindset will tank when I’m not employed. I don’t even know what to do.

I don’t want to take a job making less because I know that I will make that mean that all my prior career planning has gone to waste and that the money I will make in a new job will be less than what I make now and that I’ll be backsliding in my career.

Thinking that I get to be with my boyfriend is a nice thought, but it’s not moving the needle for me. Thinking that this new city could be slower-paced if I find a new job that isn’t a ‘career’ doesn’t work because I like fast-paced areas and I think of myself as a career-oriented woman. I don’t know who I would be if I had to take a lesser-paying job and I feel like it would take a lot of managing my mind around it and I don’t think I’d ever be happy with a job that pays less than what I make now.

The new city has less to offer in terms of what I’m interested in. Overall, I really want to be with my boyfriend, but it freaks me out that that might be the only reason to move and I’ll probably die of boredom once I get there. And, I won’t have a lot of disposable income like I do now. Finding a new job feels like a crapshoot and not a task that I’m looking forward to at all. I just don’t want to do it.