Joy eat

I have finally broken through a plateau. I don’t have cravings for sweets or junk pretty much at all, and I’ve become REALLY good at feeling hunger by using the simple thought that “Hunger is not a problem, it means I’m doing it RIGHT.” I love this thought and will be using it for all my feelings that I think are problems.

I haven’t really had a joy eat. Partly because I legit don’t want to, but also because I am still very attached to the outcome / number on the scale.

C Scale says 1X4.4
T I don’t want to have a joy eat bc I don’t want to screw things up (ie: scale goes up – really, I don’t want to feel anxiety)
F Resistance
A Don’t have a joy eat, remain on strict protocol
R I remain attached to the # on the scale, I keep feeling anxiety around food, I give my power to the scale and to food

So yeah, I can really see that I just don’t want to experience the feeling of anxiety that my brain will create if I have a joy eat, and I don’t want to feel anxiety if the # on the scale goes up. Part of me just wants to say – wait until you hit your goal before having a joy eat. But I think there is something to be learned NOW.

Some thoughts I WANT to believe (but don’t) are:

Food and the scale have no control over me (believe this 0/10)
I can consciously consume off protocol foods without issue (believe this 0/10)
I can enjoy all foods – I am in control (believe this also 0/10)

So this is interesting to me and really shows me that I am still giving all my power away, and that I am pretty attached to the outcome.

Here’s what I came up with that I CAN believe

C Scale says 1X4.4
T I can consciously consume off protocol foods AND it is possible I have the capacity to handle the anxiety comes with that
F Willingness (to feel anxiety)
A Have a planned joy eat
R I teach myself that I can handle food-related and scale-related anxiety

I think I’m onto something here. The whole source of my messed up history with food is that I don’t want to feel this food-related and scale-related anxiety.

I am also not 100% sure if I’m ready for this. I can see that this is a thought that results in uncertainty, and the result is that I don’t do it. I can also see that I’m not trusting myself.

Do I force myself to just do it anyway? I guess I could use the thought “I can feel anxiety around a joy eat, AND I can do it anyway”. Or, “this is an opportunity to listen to what my brain tells me about food-related and weight-related anxiety.” I can see that my brain is trying really hard to convince myself that “everything will be okay” by counting calories after eating something “bad”, or by going on “a diet”. This is how I have lived in the past. I can see that this anxiety is still kind of prevalent.

Maybe a thought like “I am willing to believe that I can feel and allow the anxiety that comes from a joy eat”? Cause this is the problem, I don’t want to feel that whirlwind of anxiety. Maybe I can book a coaching session for right after the joy eat?

Any advice here Coaches?