Joy eating

So I stopped my joy eats because I didn’t like the results I was getting i.e feeling lethargic and unhealthy and sharp increase in urges and cravings every time I did them.
I did however plan a 2 day exception over Xmas.
But looking back over 4 weeks around Xmas I ate sugar or flour 9 times so I was making excuses and sneaking these things sometimes to the point of full storm eats.
I think the thoughts that drive that are “I’m not planning a joy eat so i can have this” then “now I’ve blown it I might as well continue”. Cue binge.

(When I don’t binge I’m at my happy goal weight)

So I decided to plan a joy eat rather as it seemed before to help me not eat sugar or flour the rest of the week.

So I did that, planned waffles for Sunday and ate perfectly to protocol until then. But on Sunday I ate the waffle, didn’t feel satisfied, came home and just carried on eating. To the point of true discomfort and physical pain.

I did a learn and move on and found loads of thought errors like
*I deserve to enjoy myself with food *I need to feel satisfied *I’ve blown it and my insulin is high anyway I might as well keep going *I need to enjoy my day I work so hard during the week *I need more that wasn’t enough *I can’t stop eating now I’m out of control.

So now I’m trying to plan my next joy eat for Sunday and with thoughts like those I’m feeling scared and not trusting myself.

I realise so often even before I start eating something tasty I am thinking to myself I need more than this portion.

So now I’m practising new thoughts like *I don’t want more than this portion tat I’ve planned * I’m someone that can make a plan and keep to it * I can eat only this and choose to feel satisfied *i want to feel proud and healthy.

So my question is do you recommend I just keep doing this work like this. Obviously planning joy eats is bringing up alot of self coaching that I thought I’d finished with when I reached goal weight.

What is your advice? I don’t want to create problems but I also don’t want to fear eating sugar occasionally.

Thanks for your time xx