Joyless without Buffers

Please help. I’ve been working on buffering and find that without it I am a giant black hole of sorrow. I am struggling to find anything that brings me joy. Without buffering I am finding that I don’t want to be married, don’t enjoy spending time with my kids, have no interest in hobbies or work. I feel so lost.

C – I have a life
T – I can’t find any joy in my life without food
F – hopeless
A – sit on the couch and cry cry then cry some more
R – I have no life

I know confusion is an Indulgent feeling but I don’t even know how to begin to find joy. Help please.