I opened up an app today and there was a video of a very fat girl in tight clothes modeling the clothes with confidence. It was for a clothing brand I was thinking of buying. The clothes showed a lot of skin. I don’t like my Model but here it goes:

C: fat model shows skin while modeling clothing on Instagram
T: what a fat pig
F: disgust
A: judge her, reconsider the clothing brand, get angry at a society that promotes fatness as being fine, get mad at health at every size
R: I don’t know. I reject my own body? I try very hard not to be fat and care about health, but I have my own body image issues for sure.

C: same
T: fat people should keep their fat covered
F: contempt
A: judge her, judge the brand, think I’m superior, argue with reality….I don’t accept all bodies. This is true though. I don’t. I don’t think fatness is okay. I think it’s the unhealthy result of eating garbage food and buffering. I can hold onto that if I want, I know, but I don’t like feeling so judgmental. But I guess I do, because I am.
R: I stay stuck in judgment? I don’t know!

I’d love some help finding the results here. I don’t think I want to let go of the idea that it’s just fine and healthy to be fat, and that we should be promoting it in the name of inclusivity. I’m okay with some fat, and agree that beauty standards are stupid, but I don’t think obesity is attractive or healthy. I’d like to feel less hateful.