Judging myself for knowing better in new relationship but not acting on it


I am in a new romantic relationship and am feeling embarrassed and judgemental about myself for repeating past mistakes. I am a certified LCS coach and so I know that it’s my Ts that cause my Fs, not what he says or does. Yet for the past 6 weeks or so, every time he says or does something I have Ts/Fs about, I want to talk about how I am feeling with him, as if it was his fault (his viewpoint). Even while I was doing it I recognized it and would say things like, it’s not what you did, but I want to talk about my thoughts that cause my feelings about what you did”. I was also aware of how doing this too much in my past relationships ended them very quickly, because those men didn’t want to be in a relationship where they were too frequently having conversations around feelings so soon. Well, surprise surprise, this week my new man told me he didnt know if he could be with me since apparently he makes me so unhappy! He’s taking some space now and has pulled back emotionally. I am intentionally thinking “what if nothing has gone wrong?” “what if this is happening exactly as it is supposed to happen?” and I do believe these things. But I am also so scared that I’m going to repeat the past mistakes again, since I think that’s what happened to begin with. Like, I dont trust myself right now. I’m scared because I dont want to lose him. I want to be in a relationship with him, I think he’s wonderful. How do I stop judging myself for not catching myself sooner? Not doing a better job of being in this relationship, having experienced what I did previously and having become certified to know better?