Jumping to conclusions pt 3

Thank you for this information, it is extremely helpful! A few more follow ups to really gain clarity this area. If you think im getting stuck somewhere please let me know.

YES! I seem to have a very strong neuropathway for not being betrayed by a man with another woman or not be loving to him only for him to leave with another woman at some point. I stayed single for 10 years because of what the first 2 betrayals felt like when I was younger.
The thought behind that is the fear of the hurt that comes from betrayal and healing from that, and being alone again.
It all brings up some of the worst pain I fear. Although I have gotten through it every heart break and been totally fine alone, it is still clearly debilitating (fake) fear.
The results I see are, more awareness in my thoughts and life, working to try and have new thoughts and feelings, and still I tend to try to find where they are betraying me soon into any dating so that I can run away.

How do I have compassion for myself and curiosity in this area when my body is in such survival mode in vulnerability with a man? I have been working on this for a while and seem to be in the same thought loop. I totally have more awareness than ever before but the thoughts aren’t changing as I would hope therefor neither my actions nor results.