Recently there have been 2 instances where my 9 year old son has gotten very angry at me. In reflecting on my contribution, it was after I pointed out to him that we did something for him. He didn’t want to help put away the baseball equipment, even though he was the one who wanted to play to start with. I said that he was the one who wanted to play in the first pace. I didn’t intend to fuss, but was irritated by his trying to be cute and get out of contributing – which is a pattern for him, that I tend to fall for sometimes.

Undesired model: I guess the circumstance is that he did not want to help out. I thought he was being unappreciative and unhelpful. I felt worried and like a bad mom. My action was to tell him that we did it for him. The result was for him to get angry.

Desired model: I guess the circumstance is that he did not want to help out. I thought he was a normal 9 year old boy. I feel okay with his behavior. My action would be to make a game out of it or be playful. The result would be a better relationship with my son.

I guess I worry about changing this to feeling okay with his behavior for concern that my response would be to do it for him.

I just feel like I am sort of a little off track on this one and would love another perspective.
Thanks!