Kind Of Weird


I quit one steady aspect of my business to grow another aspect of my business. The growth has been amazing but what corresponded is very curious to me. A long story short, the amount of money we owe in bills grew by a couple thousand dollars each month right as I quit. I want to say that I am struggling to make the money…. but I can see that that’s not true. What is true is that I have tremendous anxiety that the money needed corresponds with me giving up my “stable” source of income. I am trying to believe the new thought that “the Universe is supporting my decision to grow my business by requiring more of me.” Even in typing that out I can see I am believing that thought more and more. The problem is the visceral anxiety. It totally sucks to walk around all day feeling my stomach in knots. It is awful. I go into my body and I feel physical pain….all day. When I buffer the pain goes away. I buffer a ton. But I have been in scholars for almost 6 months and I see that I am starting to get a handle on buffering. It’s weird. Half of me is terrified and the other half of me sees that I am making great progress. I just want my brain to fully believe the new thoughts bc the anxiety about anxiety and the physical pains from it are holding me back. Will the anxiety ever go away? I don’t want to live a life where I am not sleeping and when I’m awake I just feel horrible….