My result is that I have been at the same job for seven years, and although considered a high performer and getting increasing responsibility and recognition, I have never been promoted, and I no longer enjoy my job.
My actions are that I complain, I cry, I procrastinate doing my work, avoid looking for jobs, and stay stuck.
I feel hopeless.
My thoughts are all over. I keep circling back to of belief that I don’t know what I want, or sometimes even who I am.
I fell into a decent enough career not so much because I actively chose it but because I really needed a job and it pays well enough and matches my skill sets. I keep telling myself I really don’t know what else I could do. So of course I stay stuck.
When I give myself quiet space to think and reflect on what I would like to do, I draw blank, nothing comes up, the words that fill my head are: don’t know, I don’t know I don’t know.
But meanwhile- I am unhappy in my job, and don’t have a vision for the future.
I need to stop the “I don’t know” thinking. It’s indulgent and will keep me stuck if I don’t change it.
If I allow it to quiet instead of thinking” I don’t know, what comes up is I don’t want a job I hate, I can’t take a job that pays me less than I do even if I like it better, I only have training in this area.”
These thoughts make me feel defeated and I give up.
Even as I write this I feel pathetic that I don’t have a vision and I am realizing I have lived my life to stay out of pain, and not get in trouble.
I am scared I won’t change.
I would like some help cleaning up this model or breaking it up into a couple of models to figure out how I can start changing my feelings or my thinking.