Ladder thoughts on “not being enough”

I’ve discovered that belief “I’m not enough as I am.” And, all its neighbors: I’m not important, I’m broken, something is wrong with me. I’m happy to find them and notice how they affect all areas of my life. I’m trying to earn love or find evidence for my thoughts. Can you please suggest how can I work through it? What ladder thoughts I can use?

Right now I’m trying out: “Im open to the possibility that the thought I’m not enough could be untrue” but even that sentence is hard to believe. The reason I want to change this belief if because I don’t like how I treat myself and how I show up in relationships. Here is my model:

C: boyfriend says or does things

T: I’m not enough for him and in general

F: unworthy


  • Finding proof on not being enough
  • Trying to earn love (by not being able to relax, by listening deeply to him, by asking deep questions)
  • Entertain him when we are together
  • Not allow myself to just relax
  • Not accepting myself the way I am
  • Not noticing all the great things in me
  • Ignore my own life
  • Focus all energy on controlling him
  • Come up with manipulations to keep him interested

R: I’m finding evidence for not being enough and I’m not allowing myself to see why I might be enough.