Laughing out loud at my Manual for my husband


Oh, dear, wonderful Brooke, I know you know, but this relationship work is GOLD!

I’m working on my relationship with my husband this week (I’m the one who was scared about him finding my judgment sheet).

Writing my Manual for him just now I was laughing out loud at my outrageous, crazy demands. Putting them on paper brings so much perspective, and also highlights contradictions, e.g. I want him to do certain things so I feel independent, and at the same time other things to make me feel safe and provided for. What?!?

And the grand finale is the list of emotions I want him to create for me through his behavior:

If he did all of the things on my Manual, I would feel…
Valued
Important
Indispensable
Admired
Sure of my talents
Flattered
Loved
Adored
Free
Independent
Funny
Interesting
Captivating
Like a princess
Feminine, womanly
Pampered
Provided for
Secure
Safe
On solid ground
Not alone
Supported
Part of a team
Light, joyful

I mean, the guy is amazing, but that is a tall order. 😀 Very enlightening to me to see this list of emotions I want to feel, and think of all the ways I can create them for myself. All at my fingertips.

Conversely, I’m totally seeing that many of the things I expect from him in my Manual, I’m currently withholding from him, or reluctant to give him. Why in the world would I expect him to give ME something I’m not willing to give HIM in the first place?

I think my Manual for him will be a great basis for Day 5 and the ways *I* want to show up for my guy.

So good. Thank you!

Camille in Paris.