Leaning Into a Critical Thought

Thanks, Coaches! I’m experimenting with leaning into a thought that initially felt disdainful. I’ve gotten great coaching on allowing the F of disdain. I can also find more positive thoughts easily, but I’m wondering how playing with my “worst” thought can lighten it up a bit.

C: I’m one of 30 people invited to contribute chapters for a book.
T: My chapter is probably the worst.
F: Disdain
A: I imagine the editors regretting inviting me. I judge my writing style and content. I am tense while working on the revisions. I’m distracted by ruminating on this. I’m less present in other work, family, friend activities. I think about past publications and imagine they’re also terrible. I question whether I should publish my other projects. I discount nice things the editor said. I focus on the editor’s most critical comments.
R: I generate a worse experience for myself.

So, if I self-coach with: so what if my chapter is the “worst”? I answer: the other contributors are amazing and it is already a success to be included among them; I’d rather have the weakest chapter than not be included, no doubt; I’ve accomplished many other benefits while producing this chapter, even if it could be better. These thoughts feel lighter and amusing. I can appreciate that I’m being courageous in putting my scholarship out to new audiences. I can focus on how grateful I am to have been invited, how this process advances me towards my writing goals and my career goals, and how going through the challenging parts of publishing makes me a better mentor/advisor to others. In the broader scope of things, I’m realizing that when I started self-coaching, I wanted to feel less fear around publishing, but now I see that it’s more about embracing the fear and going after my goals anyway. Are there spots you have suggestions on? How can I challenge myself further here? Thank you!