Earlier this month I wrote in with some commitments for my two week trip to Germany (1 week walking tour vacation, 1 week of working in Berlin). Holy cow, I learned a lot on this trip when I didn’t answer my feelings by buffering with food and drink. Damn.
1. I learned I have a manual that reads that vacations should be fun ALL THE TIME or something has gone horribly wrong. My brain spent the first 2-3 days providing the thoughts, “This vacation should be more fun than it is and I have the perfect solution. Everyone around you is drinking wine and eating ice cream. Get some wine and ice cream IMMEDIATELY.” I had many nice chats with my brain about why that is a terrible idea.
2. Regarding the not drinking part… woah. So, I didn’t realize that the trail that I was walking coincided with a scenic wine walking trail. There were several days where I would climb to the top of the mountain and there would be a random hutch atop with chilled riesling. WHAT?!? I can’t tell you how many times I doubled over laughing when I saw these things because I felt like the universe was testing me in the most random way. Cue allowing urges work while I walked down the mountain not having consumed a drop of wine. Before my trip I had the lingering desire to drink. Now that I’m back I have no desire at all. I think two weeks of allowing a lot of urges made all the difference.
3. I did not gain weight on vacation which feels amazing. I wouldn’t have thought this possible before SCS. I also realized on my walk that sticking to a protocol is still something I need to work on, even though I’ve lost 40 lbs since January. I thought I would be magically “fixed” when I reached my goal weight and had been beating myself up when I struggle with it. Now I’ve embraced that this is all OK and it just means I have more work to do. I have all the tools and support I need to help to figure out what’s really going on when I buffer with food.
4. Finally, I figured out that I’m super nervous and anxious about becoming a life coach and for LCS training in September. That’s probably (likely!) why I’m buffering with food. I realized it’s totally normal to be nervous and lucky for me again that I have a whole support system to help me along the way. I set up a tutoring session with Pat and I know she will help me out. I’d love any other words of wisdom you might have to help me as well!
Thanks for SCS and all the support!
See you in September,