Let it go, let it go


Hi lovely coaches
I had a soul sister type friend who abruptly stopped all contact with me on several different occasions only to come back each time asking for forgiveness for disappearing, which I was eager to give. We shared a lot together.
She hadn’t come back this time, since November. And, while I miss her, I have made a boundary in my mind that I will no longer be friends with people who cannot be present. That feels right to me and straightforward and clear. It’s not about changing their behavior, just about what I want in my life.
So my question is about closure, I guess. It feels weird to be mourning and letting go of this relationship without consulting her. And yet the reason I am choosing to grieve and also move on is because the relationship was no longer serving me (or her, it seems). My brain is telling me to get back in touch to hash it out. But I believe that despite my conditioning on talking through everything, that it is actually time to let go. And I can do that solo. When I’m doubting my boundary decision, I check her social media feeds. Because I do miss her. And yet, all this is totally in my head because she is still out there living her life and not contacting me. So, I guess I’m asking for your thoughts on “breaking up” with someone without telling them.

Unintentional
C: Friendship dissolution
T: I wish she would apologize for disappearing again, and we could end it “cleanly” and have “closure.”
F: Sad, stuck
A: Check her instagram
R: Keep holding on, wishing she would change

C: Friendship dissolution
T: It ended exactly as it should, and I can love what we had and be happy to never go back again.
F: Free, calm
A: Create new friendships and community with an open heart
R: Live in the present, let it go