Since we’re on the subject of relationships, I wanted to bring up something I’ve been working on in the hopes that others will read this and know they’re not alone, because I am a Marriage and Family Therapist, I do a lot of couples work (which has changed immensely in the last year, thanks to you) and sex is a subject that couples avoid bringing up, but tends to usually be a big issue. However, we often have the belief that you don’t talk about sex, or talking about sex is uncomfortable, or I will be embarrassed if I bring up sex.
Over the years I’ve had lots of different thought errors about sex. I was brought up Catholic, so I’m finding all these fascinating thoughts about what I’ve allowed sex to mean. Mainly that it is dirty and you don’t talk about it. Not even your period, so I’ve got thoughts I’m working on in that area as well. Over the years I’ve added some layers of thoughts since I’m no longer in the Catholic church, but I was still having feelings about sex being dirty, so it changed into I don’t like sex, I have to do this for my husband, he always wants sex, that’s all he thinks about, if he would only do the dishes I might want to have sex with him… It’s been so freeing to question all of these! I get to decide what I believe about sex, about what I want to talk about, about how open or private I want to be about it.
It’s been amazing to bring it up to my couples and see the relief on their faces to know that they are not alone in their beliefs and their pain and that we can totally do something about it.
Thanks again, Brooke, this is really good work you are doing. I would love any further thoughts that you might have about offering this work to couples. It is so much fun to talk about once we get through the initial fear!