Letting go of the cultural female beauty standard.


I’ve just started to explore the idea of female beauty as an unobtainable and elusive cultural standard. It is pressing up against a lot of my programming.

I typically fit into the “beautiful” American norm. This just means that I have been praised my whole life for being pretty. So, I have a lot of self-worth tied up in my looks.

Here is an example of what’s going on. The other day as I was getting ready (looking in the mirror, doing my make-up and hair) I thought “I have spent so much time worrying about this while my husband has never had to do this.” Not to mention all the time I have spent thinking about my body size and the way my body and face look during the day. I feel cheated. It typically takes me 45 minutes to an hour to get ready where it takes my husband about 20 minutes.

Now my problem is I still want to look pretty in the cultural sense but I also want to let it all go. I want to get my time back. But there is a lot of fear of not being accepted (not by my husband- he is super supportive of anything I choose). I find myself looking for an “acceptable” line or balance that I’m not sure exists.

Please help.