Letting Go of the Narrative


This is my first week in scholars and I’m beyond excited!

A week ago, I found out my mom opened a credit card in my name and almost maxed out a $9,500 line of credit. She did this once in my early twenties and I chose to settle the account and take the hit to my credit. This time, I am choosing to deal with the circumstance differently. My mom and I have a history that is tenuous as best and this recent event has open the flood gates for a lot of my buried thoughts about our relationship to surface. The first thing I would like assistance with is my model. I find that my intentional model had been useful in helping me focus on the facts and confront the situation from a place of confidence. The second thing I’m curious about is how to quiet the mental chatter that seems to seep into every part of my day. It’s like I have a movie reel in my head where my mom and I are in heated discussions and I’m giving her a piece of my mind. I did this a lot as a kid. I would lay in bed at night and just think about all the scenarios and things I wanted to say to her but never did because I was too afraid of the repercussions. What I’m noticing is that when I feel betrayed or hurt by someone I have an intimate relationship with, I carry the narrative for a while in my head and cause myself a lot of suffering. In this particular situation I’m holding onto a very deep seeded narrative about my mom. I don’t want to overlook her behavior or even work on building a relationship. I just want to change the constant noise I carry about this narrative. Thank you! It was difficult to just pick one thought. My download was quite extensive.

UI model
C: Moms opens a credit card in my name without telling me and charges $9,200.
T: I can’t believe she’s done this again!
A: Get stuck in cognitive loops about all the things she’s done that have upset me and all the things I want to say to her. Vent to friends and sister. Ruminate about how the conversation we’re going to have.
R: remain in a state of unbelievability

IM
C: Moms opens a credit card in my name without telling me and charges $9,200.
T: I’m going to focus on the facts and resolve this logically
F: certain
A: make a list of questions and talking points, call the credit card agency, make a prevention plan and set clear boundaries for myself so that this never happens again.
R: I take steps to resolve this situation logically