Hi Brooke,
The topic I’m working on is using resilience to help me change my belief that I’m a ” victim ” of my past and present.
Growing up in an alcoholic family, one of the core belief I developed is one of victimhood. I think I’ve changed some of thoughts on being a victim, but working on my compiling reason for my commitment to loss weight, I’ve found a blindspot.
I see family members blaming other for what happens in their life. I thought I had out grown seeing myself as a victim because I’ve come to believe that I’m responsible for my thoughts and feelings. But when writing down some of my reason that keep me from my goals, I’ve just realized that I’m a “stoic” victim. Such people do not complain, and they keep a “stiff upper lip,” but underneath they experience a sense of victimization. Such people frequently don’t even let themselves know how they are feeling. That’s was my role in the family, being the “strong one ” in all the drama. I’m the one who thinks they have to fix people and things. Actually I think it was more like I became the “numb one” just to survive.
I think victims don’t have resilience. Is making a commitment, proving I can do something for myself, seeing that I have choices going to help me let go of the thought “I am a victim” at a deeper level? Is this the action I need to prove that I’m worthy of my own desires? Can I change thoughts I’m not even conscious of?
Thanks for offering this program, can’t wait for next months topic of feeling.
Becoming ready to feel all my feeling, with you and others support.
Patricia