Letting people have their own models


A coworker wrote stuff about me in a performance review about a project we had together. She said she didn’t agree with what I did. She never voiced this to me. I have a lot of thoughts about it. (she should have talked to me. She threw me under the bus. She can’t blame me if she didn’t discuss it with me. I can’t read her mind. She’s being dramatic. She talked shit on me. She thinks I’m bad at my job. Everyone is going to think I’m dumb.) I did a model on the most painful thoughts.
C: J typed words on CQI
T: She threw me under the bus
F: Betrayed
A: blame her/complain to my boyfriend/write response making her look bad/worry about what others will think/withdraw emotionally and socially
R: I blame her ???? (not for sure if this is the correct result)

C: J typed words on CQI
T: She thinks I’m bad at my job
F: shame
A: withdraw/shut down/loop about project/worry others will think i’m bad too/judge myself
R: I think I’m bad at my job / I don’t show up or engage therefore not being good at my job

Where do I go from here? I’ve tried going to this model

C: J typed words
T: those are her thoughts
F: ??
A: I ask her about it/I continue doing what I had planned/i hang out with her on sunday as planned
R: I let other people have their own thoughts

or

C: J typed words
T: She is trying her best
F: Compassion
A: I talk to her/i do my normal shit/I don’t complain about her
R: I am trying my best

However – I keep looping about the situation and thinking she betrayed me. The C feels neutral to me (there’s proof of what she typed it’s on a legal document). How can I let this go so I can allow her to have her thoughts/beliefs about me?

Thank you so much!