Life Changing Work

I am in the middle of some profound realizations and work. I had initially joined to lose weight, thinking that if only I could have the body that I wanted, than finally I would be deserving of love and belonging. I lost the weight, but presto chango surprisingly did not feel deserving of love and belonging. Then, I thought that if I were able to finally make the money I wanted to make, then I would be deserving of love and belonging. wrong again. In the last week I have realized that I won’t feel deserving of love and belonging until I make a concerted effort to be good to myself and to fully love the person that I am no matter what. That I don’t have to live in fear. The thought that I use to fuel this is that I can do whatever I want to do. truly I can, because no matter what I will have my own back, and I will love myself.

The unintentional model is:
C: life, anyone saying words to me that have me and some adjective in it
T: I make it mean that I am unlovable, that I am undeserving of belonging and that I have to change in order to be lovable and worthy of belonging.
F: Anxious, resentful, desperate to people please
A: people please, change myself, don’t do what I want
R: I feel worried about not being loved

My intentional model is:
C: life, anyone saying anything at all
T: I can do whatever I want, because I love myself and I will be there and have my own back NO MATTER WHAT
F: Calm, empowered, loving
A: honor myself, my protocol, my commitments, and my dreams
R: I can truly do and accomplish whatever I want.

Thank you for leading me, in five short months of self coaching scholars and 7 months of listening to the podcast, to this truly life changing conclusion. I also want to thank you for leading me to the podcast for Kara Loewentheil, she is amazing.