Life Not as Good


It seems my life is full of difficulties.
Other’s lives full of wonderful things at the moment.
People I care about having positive experiences out of reach to me right now.
I’ll be happy for them, but then ask myself why I can’t have good experiences like these too?
Travel, relationship bliss, connection.
I wonder if I am somehow less deserving, or no good, or my friends will not want to be friends with me because of all the difficulty in my life right now. Scary. Lonely.
Not creating those experiences? Don’t have the $ for that kind of travel, don’t have partner at the moment (have in past, but not now), negative circumstances drawing away my money, time, energy.
Not being able to have all those experiences okay, it’s worse thinking about how something must be wrong with me and I’m not good enough and and must deserve this /to not have those things.