Life story

I have had 2 patients this week who have had long drawn out stories of misery. One with a botched nose job who is “reminded every time she breaths about what that surgeon did to her” and a man whose accident (fall off a barn roof ) has left him in chronic pain.
They have both been to numerous drs and are both on long list of medications. This suffering has gone on for 15 plus years. I feel the answer is within them and learning to deal with their emotions instead of being a victim to their circumstance.
My brain sees no other answer. I don’t feel qualified to talk to them about it.
I think “what if nothing has gone wrong and you are exactly where you need to be??”
It’s as though they are on a merry go round they can’t get off of…… is like they are waiting for that magic pill or surgery to feel better.
They see themselves as powerless.
I seems so clear to me. I don’t remember what I did or thought before the model or scholars.
Any ideas on how to help them see their human experience differently??
I feel like they need a coach ….