Hello,
In the past I was able to work on my thoughts surrounding my job and successfully moved from wanting to escape my job to mostly liking it.
Now, I am planning to transition out of my job later this year because there are circumstances that I no longer want to have in my life – 24/7 on-call, difficulty with scheduling other areas of my life d/t 24/7 on-call.
Since making this decision, it is harder for me to be neutral in my current position.
Here are my models:
C-We have x# leaves, sick calls = staffing #s are less than core staffing
T-We don’t have enough staff to safely care for our patients
F-Anxiety,
A-Disengage
R-Don’t get my administrative work done

C-We have x# leaves, sick calls =I cover staffing gaps 3-4 days/week
T-I don’t have control of my schedule
F-Anxiety, stuck
A-Show up angry at home
R-Affect relationships with my family

C-I miss doctor appointments to cover staffing gaps
T-This isn’t fair, I can’t take care of myself
F-Anger
A-Disengage at work
R-Administrative work doesn’t get done

I think I’m probably mixing models here but the bottom line is I’m feeling angry, anxious and stuck.
I don’t want to feel these things and think that I should move up my schedule and change my position sooner since it will alleviate some of the Cs.
I feel confused about staying in a situation that I’ve decided I don’t want versus making peace with my reality and deciding to love my job (circumstance)