Listening to the Model Q&A

Just was listening to the recorded model Q&A call and you blew my mind when you said folks are cheating on their partners with the partners’ potential. WHAT!! This rings so true to me right now, not with a partner (I’m a single parent), but with my foster daughter. This kid I love so much, who has been in and out of my home but always an important part of my family for 3.5 years now, and who despite her incredible resilience and inner beauty and hard work, still has some really challenging behaviors. (I mean, duh. Of course. Obviously. Who doesn’t.)

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with thoughts about being a failure as her parent / part of her support system, and my weariness and frustration with some of the effects her behaviors have on our family — but also with scarcity and grief thoughts that make me feel so much worry for her in the future. Suddenly you gave me this lightbulb that part of the conflict in my thoughts may be that I feel we can only work as a family who lives together if she IS ALREADY who I know she has the potential to be. But she’s not, and maybe she never will be, and that’s also fine because I’m not the author of her story (how boring would that be).

This didn’t magically fix my thinking or feelings — still got to keep putting in the darn work I guess 😉 — but I loved the shift of that truth about partners into a truth about kids.