Living in victimhood

Hello, it seems as thought I am constantly chasing this idea of perfectionism. I know I have been coached on this before so I am sorry to bring it back up, but I am not there yet. I am having issues with how I think I should look and feel better for the amount of effort I am putting into my work outs and my self care. I work out with a deliberate schedule and focus on recovery but every work out seems exhausting. I remember a few weeks ago that my energy level was much different and my passion for the work out was also better. I am eating better then I have been and my mood is just low. I feel like I SHOULD be enjoying the benefits of working hard, coaching my mind, eating well and I am not. I am just frustrated. I am even seeing good numbers on the scale and with blood sugar, but my brain is pitching fits more then ever. It keeps telling me that things SHOULD be easier or at least getting easier (and what I mean by that is that my work outs should feel better and my mood should be more stable given the low sugar intake and consistency of my work outs). I am such a place of frustration. Any help would be appreciated!