I am living with my parents since I was born and I’ve turned 26 two months ago. My parents are working from home, they have a private business, and they are home all the time. I am also home most of the time while I’m preparing for a big exam. Almost daily I feel like a loser, frustrated, not capable enough since I still live with them and don’t wanna be spending as much time with them, I feel that I should be with people of my own age, interests and have more of a social life and not be with my parents like most of the day. I feel like my life is passing me by and that I am weak. Also what bothers me is that my mother for example wants to cook and prepare everything for dad and me, and whatever I do, she’s like no no it’s not how it’s done, and when I look at them, they are so bored and unhappy most of the time and it’s really depressing to spend so much time with them and to sit at home most of the week. I could go somewhere else to study for a while but I’m not sure it would help. Its like I hate myself for not having a job and having to still live with them and that I’m not as capable and skilled as people who start to live alone or with their partner from younger age… I feel like I’m suffocated and also very judgmental towards myself and my family as well, and it’s getting really exhausting. Its probably mostly my thoughts and beliefs, but I’m not sure if i can change that. I think the C is not changeable soon, at least for a year or so…
My current model goes something like:
C: I spend almost 24/7 at home in the suburbs with my parents.
T: I should have lived on my own and be out of my immediate family by now.
F: Judgment (self-judgement)
A: Get frustrated. Think all these negative things about myself. Start to pick fights. Complain. Bash myself. Talk about them in a bad manner. Think I’m spoiled and a bad person for all of the above.
R: I am such a failure.
I wanna change something or feel at least neutral about it and hopefully change my C soon.