Loneliness


Hi Brooke and Team,

I have come to realize that my main thing I buffer is loneliness. I am 32 years old. I have yet to have a husband and children of my own. My mother died when i was 2 years old and my father died a year and a half ago. I have a brother but he is on the other side of the country with my nephews. My grandmother helped raise me and she passed about 2 years ago. Since they passed I have felt a huge wave of insignificance and it often feels like no one really cares about me (as much as I care about them, at least). Even though I know this isn’t true and its only a thought. Also, I have always had this inherent sense of loneliness since I was small child due to the intense pain of missing my mother and growing up as a motherless daughter. After participating in LCS for the past month, I am now wondering if the loneliness is just a thought that has developed into belief over time or a feeling coming from my repeated thoughts. I’ve been trying to fit it in the model, but i’m not sure if I’m doing it correctly. What do you think about buffering loneliness? Are there any podcasts on this subject or anything similar? I think this is the main reason why i drink and smoke pot, it keeps me company and helps me ignore the fact that I am so very alone. Even though i am very grateful for all that I have and that I had parents that truly loved me, a sober mind tends to bring up the pain of all the loss that has became a major staple in my life. I often think a family of my own would fix this issue, but as I’ve learned from your podcasts, it will just lead to a string of brand new issues, which i am fully aware of. Your thoughts?