Hello!
I have been with my current partner for 4+ years. For about 2.5 of those years I have been feeling like I am “missing something.” I realize that that is a T impacting my F. We’ve had a lot of conversations about sex life (because we essentially don’t have one) but sex doesn’t seem to come easy for us. It feels like we are more like friends or roommates.
I also just struggle to feel attracted to my partner. If loving someone is not about needing them to do anything for us, what should I do around needs related to sex? I’ve asked my partner to make the move on me, or do ANYTHING to initiate sex, but nothing happens. I would initiate more, but that doesn’t feel like a turn-on to me. It’s been over 6 months since we had any kind of sex at all, and I want more for my life than this. I want passion and to feel desire, but it feels forced in this circumstance.

Since we are not yet married, would lackluster sex life or lack of sexual attraction be a solid reason to end this relationship? I am really tired of being in such indecision about the relationship, and see that my indecision is so much of a choice and indulgence. I think about whether or not to end the relationship all the time, and its totally time consuming. I don’t want to end it because I love my partner and am scared of life apart from one another, but I don’t want to stay because it feels like I am living the “lite” version of my story in this relationship.

I would love your thoughts on this. Thank you!