I’ve been in Scholars a couple of months and have also spent time in other coaching programs working on friendships. A thought I have a lot is I’m always the one reaching out to keep the friendship alive, plan get-togethers, etc. There are legitimate reasons why I’m more often the one who reaches out (more time, no kids, etc), but I’m still focused on the possible negative causes. I also hold the belief that close friendships are essential to be happy, since humans are “social animals”.

I realized last week what’s driving all of these thoughts. I’ve always wanted a female BFF (I am a straight female). Someone to do girls trips, happy hour, hiking, etc. I’ve moved around a lot as a kid and now for my career, which has impacted how long I have to get to know people. I keep looking for that special someone (friends-wise), and I start to get needy with female friends, hoping they’ll be best friends eventually! I think this repels people sometimes…  Can you help me with a thought, feeling, or actions that might help me be less needy in friendships? Thank you!