looking forward to things


so i always look forward to things. like i’m really easily excited and i only concetrate on one thing. at the moment it is maybe my future appartment with my bf. but it also can be small stuff like going for a special dinner with friends etc.
sometimes its wonderful like i imagined and sometimes i feel like i put all my energy on thinking about this moment and forgetting the present and then when i have it’s not like i’ve imagined it..
also i always thought it will come a moment in life where SOMEONE or SOMETHING would make my life better haha. Little bit sad and dissapointed it isn’t that way but also happy and excited i can control my thoughts. But anyhow at the moment i catch myself not even feel excited for something as i think to myself: WHATS THE POINT? IT WON’T CHANGE ANYTHING.. the appartment won’t change me and my life, special dinners etc also not.

any thoughts on this?

thanks so much