As I write in my spiritual journal, Good morning Grate Love … I truly believe that I am about what is mine to do. I am loving it, I have inner energy, a purpose, and moving forward in your flow. Oh I have frustration when I have technical issues, those difficult times bring out my emotions which is what I have been trying to learn to deal with instead of pushing them away , ” peach at any price” thinking. All is good! Thank you Holy One! .Yet I fear that I am losing you, will money make me a bad person ? I fear I will love money, instead of using it for the better of your people. Will I become a bad person?

I am confused how to live in contemplation and action. I understand the importance of both yet there is so much joyful delighted energy bouncing off the walls of my mind how can I bring it to stillness so I can sit in stillness with You? Or is it time to dance, with you, sing in thanksgiving? This is all new to me and I don’t want to not be in your presence. Maybe I need to rethink our relationship and prayer – being in Your presence – having a conversation. I have come to know as I breath consciously . . . You are here, I am here, we are hear, — we are in the present, in the flow of life, you are everywhere. That is different thinking than the idea that God, You, are out-there and I am here so I sent prayers to you and now I just need to be more awake to the fact you are so close, the relationship is different. My fear that I haven’t been able to sit in stillness with you doesn’t mean I am loosing you, we are dancing though each day. Not bad, just different…

C. write in my spiritual Journal

T. I fear that I am losing you, will money make me a bad person ? I fear I will love money, not using it for the better of your people. Will I become a bad person? Will money make me a bad person?

F. Fear

A. Rethink what is prayer and how to have a relationship with the Holy

R. content with the new awareness … yet I haven’t address the fear that the love of money will make me a bad person.

As I reread this brain download maybe there is more than one model in it.
The fear of losing my relationship with God
The fear that I will come to love money and become bad.