love but not in love

I’m not in love with my husband and I’ve never been. I love him but it seems like it’s really hard for me to create romantic feelings towards him. I’ve tried a lot (two 6 months coaching programs and 1 month in scholars) and at the end I’m only very frustrated. It seems like it’s more honest to acknowledge that I chose him to have a family (which we have) and be happy about our family life rather than be frustrated about what I don’t have. I also want to work about all the connections I have in my life, and not focus on my couple, because I’m so frustrated otherwise. My question would be, is it ok that I’m missing something in my life right now, which would be, feel romantic feelings, be in love… ? What would be your advice to make the best out of me having chosen this man and this situation ? And I’m really ashamed that I’m not in love. That seems like a very ugly thing, I wouldn’t like anyone to find out about it. How could I own it and feel ok with that? Thank you.