Hi, I make a point to read all the post be cause I learn so much from them for myself. It’s amazing that every time I open something up from the program its exactly what I need. I too have a friend that is very negative, she plays the victim (granted her life has good from riches to rags in a very extreme way). I was not friendly with her when she was leading a very material wealthy life. I became friends with her over the commonality over alcohol. I reached out to her 4 years ago when I thought I was an alcoholic and I was looking for a buddy to go through this with. She was a recovering alcoholic and had 10 years of sobriety and sadly she is going back to rehab for the third time in her life on Friday. So I’m not saying she doesn’t have reason to be miserable a lot of the time, and yes I think she thrives on it. Her life is so filled with drama and at one time I felt that’s what I needed from this friend, like it kept us connected to talk about all the drama in our lives and others. She is extremely kind hearted and would go to the ends of the earth for me. The problem is she makes me feel so accountable to our friendship and guilty for the kind of friend I am or am not. Now, I know only I can make myself feel that way with my own thoughts but I guess my thoughts are always projected by her statements. So yesterday she says, “Are you coming to visit me in rehab?” Now I know she is setting me up to come to see her (and if I don’t she will play the poor me and you are a bad friend role) and I don’t want to visit. I don’t even know if I want to continue the friendship. I make lists of pros and cons about our friendship and I always have more cons. I know the real problem for me is that I am trying to work on and using models and thought downloads is that I am afraid of losing her because I don’t have that many friends that I see on a regular basis and I’m scared I will be alone and bored and scared that I have no friends or not enough friends in my life. I am trying to work on this. But I don’t know what to do about our friendship. She is extremely high maintenance though at the same time she is very funny and we have had fun together. But I know it does not outweigh the bad.I do think she is toxic .So now she is going to rehab and I don’t know if when she comes back if I should stop being friends and if so how to go about it. I have “broken up” lol with her before and then I find myself analyzing everything with her and our friendship and then we get back together again. She thinks we get back together because we are really, really, good friends and that’s what good friends do….get annoyed and angry, then talk it death, and then kiss and make-up. Here is a perfect example of how crazy this is. This past weekend my son got engaged and we had 3 full days of fun with him and soon to be wife and his future in-laws. We had so much fun. She sends me texts during the weekend like: “Hellllooo”, “I want to know everything about the weekend”, “send pictures” etc..and I don’t. don’t have the time and I don’t want to make the time. This was my family time. After the weekend there was a text from her saying, “thanks a lot”, sarcastically, “all you had to do was send an “x” “a kiss” to acknowledge her, “Oh forget it anyway”. I got so mad that through text I told her she always instills guilt and negativity and that’s not what I wanted to come home too. And, how crazy is this…I told her that it was ridiculous for her to be angry that I did not respond to her. She said that I know her and just a simple “x” would have been enough. I told her she may have done that if she were me but I’m not her. Her answer was, “Well, good friends compromise”. That’s just one of many examples. So I guess I’m going on and on knowing what I no what I have to do but I’m afraid of being alone, bored, and regretful. Plus I don’t know whether I just don’t engage with her when she returns (is that mean?) or tell her I’m not what she is looking for in a friend. I told her that once before and we didn’t talk for 3 months and then in a weak moment I reached out to her and boom….we were besties again! Any words of wisdom? I know she is not good for me especially since I am trying to work on myself. I don’t know how to get through my fears of not having enough friends, being bored, etc…