C: I asked husband, “Is our relationship stable right now?” in context to our upcoming move abroad. Husband replied, “What matters to me is being with the kids.” He also said, “You take our lifestyle for granted,” and physically rolled his eyes at me. He then confirmed verbally that he was feeling irritated with me.
T: My husband does not love me the way I love him. He is not in love with me any more.
F: Depressed.
A: Pull away, talk to my friends, cry, process my emotions, become less cheerful, loving and kind with him, protect myself. Put up an emotional wall. Focus on the kids.
R: I am emotionally distancing from him and not treating him with love. I feel the loss of my own normally warm love for him.

Brooke always says that people have the right to think and feel whatever they do. So, my husband has the right to think things about me, or feel things about me (or not feel things about me), even though I disagree with his thoughts and choose to believe that his thoughts are negative and unkind. How is it possible to hear his words that I define in my manual as being cruel or painful, and to change their meaning so that I do not hurt myself repeatedly with them? Even more so, how is it possible (or even advisable) to treat another person with great love when you don’t feel emotionally safe around them?

I guess I am having trouble with the thought of being loving toward someone who (I think) does not love me back. I can’t make him love me; and I don’t really want to make myself act warm or loving to him right now either. Maybe I am subconsciously trying to punish him for what he said, but honestly, it’s more like I want to protect myself from further hurt.

Thoughts? He seems fine and I’m really sad.