loving my body while trying to change how it works

I am working on loving my body at any size. This is after the last 12 years of trying to maintain a stable body composition, trying all sort of different routines of food and exercise. High fat, low fat, high vegetables, no flour, yes flour.

If I follow Brooke’s advice and I stick to protein fat and vegetables, I drop weight and muscles and I get constipated to the point that I am not functional. If I put carbs in I constantly increase the thickness of my fat layer coating my abs.

All in all, I don’t have a stable body composition, while the weight does not change. The only option I saw in front of me is to love my body unconditionally no matter how it changes. This is indeed my impossible goal of 2021.

At the same time, still I have feelings of sadness because doing so still feels like resignation as if I was quitting on a legit desire (to have a constant body composition). Would you say focusing on loving my body no matter what and focusing on trying to have my body work (“I want to fix this”) are compatible?

I haven’t been able to work effectively on both so far. Right now, I am at a place of resignation to see the fat layer get thicker on my abs for the rest of my life and I am working to move resignation to neutrality and move the focus to loving all my body can offer me.

If you think is legit to try to solve for this frustration by having a different approach with food, which resources in SCS would recommend to have more guidance on more tiny adjustments and manipulations of my protocol?