Hi Brooke ❤️
I’m doing my own mini-modelthon on thoughts I have around a friend. I’m going deep with the model after playing around with it for my second month in SCS – Bev’s Model Q&A this week and ep #83: Model Mistakes helped me see where I’ve might have been going wrong with the model.
#1: I was finding it tricky to get to an R that validated the T.
#2: Also, Bev’s feedback around someone else’s model this week (Model Q&A) made me wonder: How do we know when to change the thought about ourSelf versus how we think about someone else? Is it good to do both?
I’m having thoughts about a friend that make me feel frustrated, angry and sad. I want to feel living and be supportive so I’ve spent a lot of time on the models below. It took me a while to get the R to validate the T. Am I on track?
Background: We bonded because of shared values (independence, freedom & adventure) and passion for entrepreneurship. Now she has a new set of values and goals and I feel betrayed. I had no idea this was why I was feeling so angry and sad about her until I did the model.
Unintentional Model #1:
C: My friend
T: She’s living out of integrity
F: Frustrated, Angry
A: Passive aggressive when she asks for advice
R: I am living out of integrity
Unintentional Model #2:
C: My friend
T: She has betrayed me & our shared values
F: Frustrated, sad
A: Low integrity responses to her questions because she won’t follow my advice anyway
R: I’m betraying my own values of love, loyalty, friendship & freedom
Intentional Model #1 – thoughts about my friend
C: My friend
T: Her goals and values have changed; right on, sista!
F: Loving
A: Supportive and loving feedback to her questions no matter what
R: I’m loving & supportive of her new choices and therefore in line with my own values of love, loyalty, friendship & freedom
Intentional Model #2 – about Me:
C: My friend
T: I live in alignment with my own goals and values
F: Happy & confident
A: I show up as an amazing, loving & support friend, ALWAYS
R: I’m unconditionally loving & supportive towards myself and my friends
Thank you Brooke ❤️
