Lunch with a journalist


Here is the response to my last questions and my notes that follow.

“A good question to ask yourself is ‘Why do I put myself down about the project?’ The answers will be the thoughts that create insecurity, doubt, shame and resistance. Model a few of those thoughts and feelings and see what you discover.”

“Why do I put myself down about the project?”
I’m afraid of what people will think.
I’m afraid that it doesn’t really work.
I don’t want to speak in public about thought work because people will have their own thoughts about what I say.
I’m afraid to be passionate about it, and then change my mind, as I’ve done in the past about Non-Violent Communication.
I’m afraid to present thought work as THE solution to everything in life, but it’s not, and people will laugh at me.
I’m afraid people will think I’m naive.
I’m afraid to say I’m interested in the work of an American coach, because I know they have huge prejudices about American people and about coaches (American is seen as only market oriented, entertainment, not intellectual, not really serious, too simple… and coaches are seen as not serious, too simple, giving cookie cutter solutions, selling dream for a lot of money, kind of hustlers…).
I’m afraid to say I’m enrolled in Self coaching scholars because people will think it’s too expensive, it’s not effective, it’s stupid, it doesn’t work, it’s a sect (I’m sure people will think it’s a sect and that I’m being brain-washed).

Models:

C I’m enrolled in SCS
T If I talk about it, people will think I’m being brain-washed
F shame
A I denigrate thought work, I don’t say I’m enrolled in SCS, I don’t say what it is, I speak about it with shame, being negative and not giving all the informations
R I don’t create pride about my interest about thought work

C Brooke Castillo is an American coach
T People will think I’m interested in the work of someone which is not reliable intellectually
F shame
A I don’t talk about Brooke Castillo, I collect evidences of people looking down at me, or saying “this is not as simple as that,” of laughing when I speak about coaching, I denigrate what I’m interested about, I don’t speak with enthusiasm
R I’m really influenced by what I think people might think, which makes me not reliable intellectually

C My project is about thought work
T People will think it’s stupid
F resistance
A I denigrate the project, I speak about it with resistance, I don’t work to finish it, I judge my own thought work, I denigrate my own habits about thought work, I ruminate
R I use much more time and energy to create this project

C My project is about thought work
T Maybe it’s really stupid
F doubt
A I ruminate, I judge my habits, I judge my results, I don’t see the evidences of all the positive thought work has created in my life, I read scientific books to seek for “intellectual” external validation
R I don’t trust myself and my choices (about my mental health habits and about my next project)

C My project is about thought work
T this is not labelled as “intellectual”
F insecurity
A I ruminate about how I will be labelled, about what people will think about me, I ruminate about my project, I put it dow, I judge it, I see all the evidences that this project is not for me
R I create a false dichotomy between thought work and “intellectual” and don’t try to mix it if I want to.

I also observe that I’m ashamed to present those thoughts about thought work in a coaching question.
I hate to think of all of those thoughts, it seems so negative!
Thank you for your feedback!