Lying about the 50%


My brain is getting more onboard with the notion of choosing a thought that serves me…but it still seems a little like I’m lying or denying the negative 50%. So, if I’m experiencing the 50/50 or maybe 70/30 in raising my teenage son, for example, how do I seek advice or create intimacy w friends by sharing my honest struggle if I’m always laying a veneer of “my relationship w my son and his behavior is perfect just the way it is” ? I just listened to the coaching replay w the woman getting a divorce and Brooke encouraging her to see the marriage as amazing and complete. Maybe bc that is now in the past? I know when I have friends that act like everything is fantastic and then find that it isn’t, I judge that person to be inauthentic and they feel untrustworthy. My brain seems to always think the negative 50% is more true than the other 50%. 😖

A few weeks ago I had this experience. Wasn’t I better off sharing/confessing my hurt than concealing it?

C—I read something negative that my son wrote about me
T—He thinks I’m horrible
F— sad
A—ruminate, cry, think negative things about my son
R—I’m having a horrible time coping w what I read

But then…
C—I cry and tell Anna about what my son wrote. She says “oh…he didn’t really mean that”
T—she’s right. He just wrote that in anger or to look cool to his friend
F—relief/calm
A—think compassionate thoughts about myself and my son, see how reading what he wrote served no purpose, look up info about adolescent behavior to see that this is normal
R—I feel alright about the situation