I am seeing how for most of my life I’ve believed that my thoughts about time were true circumstances. Now I see they are just sentences in my head.
The thoughts around time and how long things take can make me feel, anxious, frustrated, angry, scared or overwhelmed.
This is especially true for my UM around work issues. This results in me working long hours to complete my regular workload, without a lot of free time for career development, pursuing projects I enjoy and I dislike my work much of the time.
In the models I am doing about work issues- I have observed that regardless of whatever is in my C-line, the T- line is usually a variation of :
That’s going to take a long time, that can’t get done in the time allotted, or I need a lot of time to figure it out.
And my F- line is usually anger or overwhelm.
And my A line is usually a variation of complaining, procrastinating,, getting distracted, ruminating , working late.
And it the R line is always the same- takes a long time to complete a project and I work late a lot.
Now I see the truth, the work takes as long as it takes, but I spend a lot of time thinking and making myself feel miserable about it and that’s what causes me to work late and take long time to finish projects.
This is a huge breakthrough but now I don’t know what to do. I feel like the floor just got pulled out from under me because I’m seeing how I’ve been lying to myself for most of my life about about time. I know it’s not true but it still feels true.
Where do I start to untangle these beliefs?