Lying Husband


My husband frequently lies to me. So far they have been “harmless” lies in that he has never cheated or done something horrible (I hope). However they are harmful in that I feel unsafe in the relationship. A foundation of trust is important in a marriage, and it makes me wonder if it so easy for him to tell small lies, then he is capable of big lies or infidelity etc.

I don’t know what to do about this…I am not one to give ultimatums or threaten, and I have expressed how it makes me feel when he lies and he always promises “never again” but then he does it again. We have been married two years and love each other very much, and I would hate to end what I hoped would be a lifelong marriage because of these “small” lies.

I am trying to do models around this but am struggling. Current model:
C: Husband lies
T: Trust is the foundation of a marriage. How can he choose a stupid lie over building a climate of trust and mutual respect in our marriage?
F: Sad, hurt, anxious about the future of our marriage
A: Express my feelings to him
R: He says he will change but he continues to lie

I don’t know how to do an intentional model from the circumstance of him lying, because I can’t see another thought that I can have. Help!!!