Major lack of a sexual want match


My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years. We’re both 55 yrs old. For the past few years, the sex has dropped off markedly. I went thru menopause and I have very close to zero sexual desire. We just came off a 6 month period of no sex at all. During that time I almost felt like things were actually better between us. He didn’t seem so agitated w/me. Honestly, I’m fine w/o sex. But I decided it had been too long and we should start having sex again and I approached him. We had sex. It was okay but very physically uncomfortable for me. But fine. I also asked him for more AFFECTION between episodes of sex. He literally doesn’t kiss or hug me outside of sex. He did not give me any affection this past week. This does little to build an emotional connection, but I try to accept him as he is and not make him wrong about it.

Last night when I came to bed, I thought he was asleep and as soon as I laid down he pounced on me for sex. I tried to go along with it, but again, physically my body was like, nope. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable. I find it pretty impossible to be an actress to the point of acting like it’s hot. It’s not. But I wanted to try and stick w/my resolve to repair our sex life. Wellll…..he was pissed. He doesn’t understand. He thinks there’s something wrong with me that I don’t want sex (that’s a helluva turn-on!) . We finally decided to drop it, peacefully, and get some sleep. I was fine w/that and I believe it will take time for my body to get used it, for us to find solutions to my discomfort, etc. I’m willing to do that. Then this morning he sends me a text saying “I think we need to have a regular discussion between us……I prefer text.”

Uhhhhhh…..what the hell? Now I’m pissed off. It seems like no amount or style of sex that I can currently offer will be satisfying for him. Now he wants to talk about our sex life electronically, which is a no for me. It seems like re-initiating sex w/him has just made my life more difficult and I almost regret doing it.

I don’t know what to do or think next.