Making it stick this time

Hello Coaches, this is the 3rd time I have started SCS. I get so excited and feel so hope-filled when I sign up, then almost immediately I get a sense of apathy about the program. At first I think, SCS will help me find the answers and give me a sense of purpose, then I start doing the journaling/work and I start to check out. I really this time to be different and to stay with the program for the entire year. I am not sure what is going on with me. So I put it in the model:
C: My life
T: I want to live more fully, experience more
F: hopeful
A: join SCS
R: join SCS, feel apathy

I know it is my thinking; but what do I need to do differently?
I want more adventure, more money, more control of my life and how I am showing up.