“Making” other people say no

One of my Dares has been to ask for something for free. I couldn’t understand why I kept avoiding it. So, I got much more specific this morning, picked where I was going to ask and what I would say. I picked the coffee shop downstairs. I would ask for my coffee for free. I did a thought download and some answers to why I was avoiding it were “I don’t want to undervalue their product” “I like to pay full price for things.” But, the real reason, and it felt true as soon as it came out was “I don’t want to make them say no.” It’s because I don’t like to say no to things, so I’ve been all up in their business, not making them say no to me.
C- Commit to ask for coffee for free
T- I don’t want them to have to say no, that’s so uncomfortable
F- Resistance, shame, guilt
A- Not ask
R- I don’t get braver and I still feel like saying no is not okay, break my commitments to myself
C- Commit to ask for coffee for free
T- Everyone needs to practice saying no, it is good practice for them (this one felt better, it still feels like I’m in their business)
F- Confident
A- Ask for free coffee
R- Practice hearing no

I actually did ask for the latte for free and I got a hilarious look from the cashier. She said, well, you can get an extra espresso shot for free… I said, “Ok, thanks.” and paid.

What this experience has taught me is that I’m doing the same thing for clients. I don’t want to ask much because I don’t want to put them in the uncomfortable spot of having to say no. But, it’s good for all of us. I am going to keep asking for free stuff, because I need to do some work here.