I have a long history of issues with my mother in law, where I felt quite victimized and I feel like I have made a lot of progress with those, but one of the main issues I had is that is felt like my husband always used to do whatever she wanted to appease her, she sort of withdraws and is extremely needy. I want to change 2 of my thought models about both my husband and my MIL.
C- I have a mother in law
T- My mother in law is responsible for her own feelings (as opposed to my initial thought that it is my job to figure out why my mother in law is behaving/acting/feeling a certain way)
F- At peace that I am not responsible for how she feels
A- Not getting worked up trying to infer meanings from actions or behaviors
R- I don’t take on the work of figuring it out
C: My husband has a mother
T: I love my husband and has confided in me that he is hurt by the way his mother treats him (as opposed to my husband is pushed around by his mother)
F: Compassion for my husband (as opposed to frustration as to why can’t he stand up to her)
A: Being supportive of him (as opposed to getting angry at him)
R: I love my husband??
I am not as confident about the second model! I want to move on from this drama!