Previous coaching: what would I allow myself to think if I’d asked, “what do I need to do to stay working for you AND move out of state?”

I’m not sure because I think the conversation would have gone much the same way. My manager didn’t want to commit to anything without me saying that, so I can’t know that he would have committed to anything WITH me saying that.

I’m making his avoidance of committing to anything right now mean that my job is in danger despite my good work, my good relationship with him, and my dedication to the company.

UM

C: Manager said, “As bad as it sounds, you’ll need to give me a deadline and an ultimatum when it gets to time.”
T: Fuck, he said “ultimatum”!!!
F: Panic
A: Spin in thoughts, obsess about future uncertainty, wonder if I need to look for a backup job offer before the “deadline” comes, consider asking him “what exactly did you mean by ‘ultimatum’?”, let my brain construct worst-case scenarios where I’m out of a job and can’t get my medical supplies.
R: ?

IM

C: Manager said, “As bad as it sounds, you’ll need to give me a deadline and an ultimatum when it gets to time.”
T: He doesn’t want to make any false promises.
F: Respect
A: Don’t pester him for an answer, keep him in the loop of my plans like he asked, keep our decision to move quiet with the rest of my team until he has the space to make a decision.
R: ?

I would like some help understanding what the R’s are in each of these models, as well as coaching on the rest of my brain freaking out.