Managing thoughts while dating


I’m really wanting to take responsibility for my own feelings and not jump to conclusions or tell painful stories while I’m dating. The person I’m dating went out with friends and didn’t invite me the other night. I really don’t think this is a big deal because we didn’t have plans and I do want them to go out with their friends on their own. However, I still find myself defaulting to painful thoughts about this. How can I break this habit so I don’t feel so up and down while I’m dating? I know I need to take responsibility for my own feelings and not rely on them to act a certain way but my brain still offers these thoughts and stories.

C: Says “I can’t hangout I’m going out with friends”
T: They don’t like me very much
F: Disappointed
A: Overeat, feel depressed, don’t text them
R: Feel worse

C: Says “I can’t hangout I’m going out with friends”
T: They’re going to tell me they don’t want to see me anymore
F: anxious
A: Feel worried about seeing them, overthink texts before I send them, play out breakup scenarios in my head, think about all the dumb things I’ve said and reasons they want to breakup with me
R: Feel worse